I too am a Sexual Assault Survivor, and now a part of the “Me Too” movement. Being a Negro Male in America, I know I am not the only one. Through my research, case studies, and Counseling of clients, I’ve learned that many of my peers have also suffered similar or worse fates. These experiences were never discussed, acknowledged, treated, or even given psychological closure. We Men also suffered in silence because of the stigmatic idiosyncrasies, embarrassment, and social mockery that is attributed to ‘Machismo’ or what is perceived as Masculinity. Because of this traumatic personal violation, many committed suicide, lost their mental faculties, abused women, embraced feminine attributes, became addicted to Pornography, addicted to drugs, had gender alterations, became involved in same sex behavior, or engaged in living promiscuous, alternative lifestyles-all because there was never any healing initiated. Many ended up in Prison (as my Perpetrator did) and as I learned while being a Volunteer Counselor in the GA Penal system for more than 25 years, over 70% of them suffer from some form of Mental Illness. In almost all cases. there was no Father, or healthy representative of a Man in the home. I am blessed to be in my right mind, healthy, and thriving in the Kingdom of God! Although it happened to me when I was 19 years old, I never fully disclosed it with anyone until now. Thanks to the Actor, Terry Crews, I was inspired to come forth and make my story public after he exposed his Perpetrator. I’m not sure if the guy who assaulted me is even still alive, but I had to forgive him, because it is in the Word of God to do so, (Matthew 6:14), and fight to move on for my own mental health and stability sake. I hope this will help someone to begin or complete their healing process as well.
While searching through life to find out who I was and what I wanted to do, I was abusing drugs and recklessly altering my consciousness. My supplier was this Ex-Convict, who drugged and sexually assaulted me. Not only did my abuse of the drugs put my physical body in danger, but also my spiritual well being. I am grateful that my Grandmother and Mother planted a “Spiritual Identity Seed’ in me as a child, and I knew that God was real. Although my Father was present, he did not lead us into the admonition of the Lord-which I desperately needed him to do; He did not validate or affirm my siblings and I. Later, I learned that my Grandfather never validated or affirmed him, or his 13 siblings either. This is a Generational Curse perpetrated by the enemy to break down and destroy the Family structure, starting with the ‘Head’, the Father. I knew that I could pray to Jesus and He would listen; even though I decided to stray from the Church and disobey what I knew was right, I could repent to Him. He was the only one who could deliver me from Sexual Promiscuity, Alcohol Abuse, Relational Issues in Dating, and Pornography Addiction-no one else! I also knew that I had a great purpose in life, and that one day I would be successful, and in a position to help many people. My ‘Spiritual Identity Seed’, has now grown into “….a tree, planted by the rivers of water, yielding its fruit in season, and whose leaf does not wither” (Psalm 1:3). Allow me to introduce you to Yourself….